Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. (1 Peter 5:5-7)
The moment I think about my past, is the moment I stop believing I am of any use to God. God has called me to be a pastor and I am well aware of how daunting of a task that is. But why would God call someone who has lived most of their life as an irresponsible stupid jock? Surely, God doesn't want his flock to be led by such a person.
When doubts like these arise, look to the word of God for guidance. Don't forget that Jesus chose to disciple unlikely men (fishermen etc) to become part of the foundation of the church as apostles. If God can transform them into great leaders of the church, then he surely can make use of me despite my past. God did not see their past as a problem but as an opportunity to show his sovereignty in the lives of men.
Though God has called me to be a pastor, I will not take on the role anytime soon. I no longer desire to be a stupid jock and I am trying to make up for the wasted time of my past. It has been about six years since my salvation and I have noticed ways in which God has brought me closer to the image of Christ. I have also realized that that process will be stunted if I look back to my past.
Jesus made it very clear that his disciple must always look forward; it is impossible to plow straight if you are always looking back. In other words, don't look back at what you have done to determine if you can fulfill a calling from God. If you are truly called, God will supply you with what you need.
I also have to make sure that I am not hasty towards my calling and that I do everything in God's timing. God doesn't approve of promoting a novice above measure, no matter how much zeal they have. I will never board a plane with a pilot who has a lot of zeal and no knowledge. My prayer is that God would continue to put experienced Christians in my life to help me grow stronger.
It is true that God can use the unlikely to do great things for his kingdom but there is a process to follow before that happens. Jesus took it upon himself to personally disciple the apostles with oversight. They were not without instructions, accountability, and other standards of discipleship. Young Christians need to desire and seek these standards and not try to stand on their own.