Tip of the Tongue Theology Blogger
Todd Lockwood


Personal Testimony
The great theologian, Jonathan Edwards, was concerned about true and
false conversion in Religious Affections. Edwards believed that
scripture taught that love was the fountain head of all true religious
affections. The word of God says that the first and greatest command
is to “love God with all your heart, soul, and mind.” True conversion
and an unspeakable love for God are inseparable. My conversion
experience produced within me a love for God that I could have never
attained on my own. God made sure to plant many seeds within me in the
years leading up to my salvation to provide an increase that would
lead to a truly divine conversion.

My childhood was about as stable as a child trying to walk for the
first time. I grew up in a broken home that worshiped the common
worldly household idols (money, sports, entertainment, etc.). My goal
in life was to become a professional basketball player like Michael
Jordan. Our Sundays were spent watching the Chicago Bulls, not going
to church for corporate worship. My innocence gradually went away as I
became more involved with the popular weekend night life as a
teenager. God had other plans despite my ever increasing depraved
desire for sin and self-determination.

The first planted seeds that stand out in my life came from my art
teacher during my senior year in high school. I was on the verge of
being homeless and my art teacher invited me to live with him and his
family. God introduced me to a godly Christian home for the first time
in my life. I lived with them for a year until I graduated high
school. My graduation present was a book filled with Bible passages
meant to help me prepare for college. I felt a strange attraction to
the word of God and read the book from cover to cover.

I went to college to follow my childhood dream of becoming a
professional basketball player but I quickly experienced depression
halfway through my first semester. The big questions of life began to
surface in my mind and I felt lost without any direction. I quit the
basketball team and dropped out of college and joined the Air Force
several months later. My military training distracted me but the
depression soon resurfaced and made me face the big questions of life
again. I began to investigate into different religions but was not
satisfied with any of the man-made religions. My attraction to the
word of God continued but I had a hard time believing the miracles of
the Bible.

I wanted to learn more about Christianity despite my skepticism
because I was curious about Jesus Christ. My investigation into the
life of Christ involved the help of some Christian coworkers and
introduced me to the writings of his disciples. I eventually came to a
place where I realized that the disciples were lunatics, liars, or
honest men. The honesty of Paul in 1 Corinthians 15 was very impactful
on my mind but I tried ignoring its effect on my heart. I did not mind
accepting the gospel of Christ intellectually as long as I could
continue to live my way, not God’s way.

But God eventually gave the increase through the conviction and
calling of the Holy Spirit. The truths of the gospel of Christ pierced
my heart and I repented and accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. I
have continued to become more sanctified in my daily life since that
day to honor God for saving a wretched sinner from self-destruction
and his divine wrath. My life is forever dedicated to his glory and my
heart is forever appreciative of the sacrifices Christ made on my